Issue 5

Bad Ghosts, Electric Graveyard

Text messaging and internet chatting has turned us all into Frankensteins. The goal is to emulate real life, to as closely approximate real-life conversation as we possibly can, even though we all understand that (at least on our end), either we’re blowing through these things (“lol what u want from…

Cruising for an Intergalactic Bruising

Facebook, that helpful hubbub of information, told me that we can all finally stop holding our breaths: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Star Wars cruise is finally happening! (Seriously: no more breath holding! You need oxygen in your brain so you can read. And also be alive!) I…

Fan Theories and Media Mythologies

Fan theories have become the new Buzzfeed plague as of late, no doubt appearing on your social media feeds accompanied by a few choice phrases such as, “mind blowing”, “insane”, and “life changing.” They cover everything from postulating James Bond is a code name assigned to different agents to the…

Eyes on the Skies

I was listening to Opie and Anthony on the radio this morning and heard something that cracked me up, for whatever reason. The topic was conspiracy theories, and they were focusing on folks who believe that the moon landings in particular were a hoax (one of the comedians on the show was…

Just Be Evil

I heard a rumor that my writing was bleak. I’m not sure if I believe it or not. The way I see it, not everything has to have nihilistic or apocalyptic undertones. Sometimes we can appreciate the happy things — the puppies and kittens and sunshine and rainbows. Though of…

Make the Next Legal U-Turn

Every time I stop at a red light, my GPS thinks I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Disappeared. Gone. Vanished. Bye-bye. Worse, it tries to correct the problem of my disappearance by telling me to do random things. “In 500 feet, turn left on Maple Wood Drive.” “In…

Oblivion and the Internet

I wasn’t going to write this piece. I thought about it, considered writing and then stopped. Lest I should bloviate as per usual or write a sickeningly grim or maudlin column. But this past week, I experienced a shocking loss — not in the family, but close enough. Suffice it…

Pan-Tastic!

Dear reader, welcome! Welcome to the pulse of Millennial America. I think I’ve figured out our schtick. What separates us from those who’ve come before. The wind in our sails, what’s gonna power us into the future. Maybe even inspire those kids who come after us (that’s right, we’re gonna…