Phone: [ring ring] You: Well, I don’t recognize this number, but it’s a local area code. I should probably answer it. “Hello?” Phone: [silence] You: “Hello?” Phone: “………………………Hello!……………..You’ve been selected for a rare limited-time offer for some fantastic free—“ You: [click] In case you haven’t noticed, there has been a…
“The darkest timeline” is a phrase that became famous during an episode of Dan Harmon’s classic television series, Community. In “Remedial Chaos Theory” (season 3, episode 4), a number of alternate realities are introduced as the show’s main characters roll dice to decide who gets to pick up the pizza…
I’m not sure if you heard, but an early leader in consumer electronics megastores is trying to make a comeback. Before I even begin, I want you to keep this playing in the background as you read my column. It sets the mood, and it features a man juggling VHS tapes. What more do you need? …
Dear reader, welcome! Welcome to the pulse of Millennial America. I think I’ve figured out our schtick. What separates us from those who’ve come before. The wind in our sails, what’s gonna power us into the future. Maybe even inspire those kids who come after us (that’s right, we’re gonna…
“Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true, or is it something worse?” – Bruce Springsteen Apparently, the millennials are growing up. Turning away from the bright eyed wunderkins we were supposed to be. You know: tech babies incubated in dreams and shaping the world with perfect ideals,…
Does anybody here remember VHS? Better yet, remember Power Video? Or maybe Mega Video, or any number of those old, colorful movie libraries — the now extinct (and achingly nostalgic) Video Store? The kind that roamed the Earth before Blockbuster came along and ate ’em all up? (Before Blockbuster itself…
Memes have become a ubiquitous part of internet culture. Keyboard Cat, Doge and Overly Attached Girlfriend are just a few of the thousands of memes that have emerged since that first unknown user decided to mail a captioned photo of a cat to a friend. Some memes explode into prominence,…
Writers are a pack of liars, and the only people who will tell you the truth. They take that wound and rub lemons and salt in it. They fatten the scar and then show you. You’ll be hard pressed to tell what’s genuine. I broke my wrist when I was…