Columns

Eyes on the Skies

I was listening to Opie and Anthony on the radio this morning and heard something that cracked me up, for whatever reason. The topic was conspiracy theories, and they were focusing on folks who believe that the moon landings in particular were a hoax (one of the comedians on the show was…

Just Be Evil

I heard a rumor that my writing was bleak. I’m not sure if I believe it or not. The way I see it, not everything has to have nihilistic or apocalyptic undertones. Sometimes we can appreciate the happy things — the puppies and kittens and sunshine and rainbows. Though of…

Make the Next Legal U-Turn

Every time I stop at a red light, my GPS thinks I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Disappeared. Gone. Vanished. Bye-bye. Worse, it tries to correct the problem of my disappearance by telling me to do random things. “In 500 feet, turn left on Maple Wood Drive.” “In…

Oblivion and the Internet

I wasn’t going to write this piece. I thought about it, considered writing and then stopped. Lest I should bloviate as per usual or write a sickeningly grim or maudlin column. But this past week, I experienced a shocking loss — not in the family, but close enough. Suffice it…

Pan-Tastic!

Dear reader, welcome! Welcome to the pulse of Millennial America. I think I’ve figured out our schtick. What separates us from those who’ve come before. The wind in our sails, what’s gonna power us into the future. Maybe even inspire those kids who come after us (that’s right, we’re gonna…

Digital Comfort Food

Rather than write another commentary on a recent event, or a critique on some new internet privacy issue, I’ve decided to write about a recent “shower thought” that I had a few days ago. It was triggered by a Buzzfeed headline I saw as I’d skimmed through my Facebook timeline:…

Rise of the Machines

American human beings hate their hands and it’s killing me. More to the point: modern Americans would rather wave their hands in front of a sensor than use their digits to open, say, a toilet lid. Or a trash can. Or even turn on a faucet. All in the name…